Tomorrow my parents are going out of town. I am very anxious about this. I worry that something might prevent them from going. I need to spend some time alone.  I have been on the verge of tears and I can’t cry, not with them around. I just need to break down and sob rather than sit here alone, fighting back the tears lest they get out of control and I be heard from another room or worse yet, my mother just happens to come to the door to bother me about something and wants to know why I’m crying.

There’s never a good enough excuse. I never have a good enough reason to cry.

So tomorrow they’re going to the beach and when they leave I’m going to cry. And then I should be happy for awhile.

And no one’s bothered to buy groceries in awhile and I only have $47 in my checking account which I will need for my copay at the neurologist’s next week [unless I've totally screwed up and missed the appointment] and to buy catfood and possibly dogfood. And this is a good thing because with dwindling food supplies in the house one would think I could maybe possibly manage to lose some weight, right?